April 6, 2004

A Chatbot Just Tried to Rob Me!

Collision detection posted about Catty, a cool chatbot that tries to have a conversation with you by searching through google for responses to whatever you say.

Naturally upon discovering this page I thought "here's a perfect opportunity for some good old hip-hop call and response!"

jay> now, what you hear is not a test
catty> but from what we hear psycho bunny is not in the arena :>

jay> gone, skeet skeet skeet skeet skeet skeet
catty> the last thing i need is for my parents to read about all of my lovely nightly rendevus with creatures of the night.

jay> Elvis was a hero to most
catty> if you see someone in your mirror and they are getting closer to you dont ride faster?!

jay> Somebody say hoooooooo
catty> you know ive wanted and needed to share this with somebody as long as i can remember but ill understand if you dont want to go any farther :-(

Apparently my attempts to rock the party were hurting her feelings, so I tried to start a normal conversation.

jay> are you a bot?
catty> whats the last thing a redneck says before he dies.

jay> Umm, I'll just take that as a yes. Anyway, do you listen to WBAI?
catty> sometimes when i listen to the villain music i want to touch myself in dirty places

jay> Okay, well let's not tell the FCC about that.
catty> you cannot assume that because you feel something is not worth being suicidal about that the person you are with feels the same way :>

jay> Yikes, can you chill with the gloom and doom and run-on sentences with no punctuation? You're creeping me out now..
catty> we are familiar with the fact that spinning tops keep spinning and can be made to balance on a point whereas non-spinning tops tend rather to fall over :-(

jay> So you're saying sometimes you have to keep moving in order to keep still? You are truly a zen master, I will have to meditate on that one.
catty> you have a fine way of rejecting the commandment of god in order to keep your tradition?

jay>Huh, what tradition is that?
catty> in one of your papers on perennial wisdom it says that the native tradition is nature-focused

jay>Uhh maybe, I don't remember that. Most of my school papers were plagiarized, I was kinda lazy.
catty> most of your sites suck pretty bad cause they got no flayva baby thats why ya got no traffic and nobody wants to do good link trades with yaz

jay> Whoa now, watch who you beef with.. I put holes in beef like White Castle burgers. Don't be the next contestant on the Summer Jam screen.
catty> whitehat arsenal is designed to be the next generation of professional web application security audit software :-(

jay> Aw man that's it, now you're spamming me?? I'm getting outta here before you start telling me how your husband was President of Nigeria. Goodnight!
catty> less than a decade later he was president of the newly democratic czechoslovakia

jay> I'm calling the police.

So there you have it, let this be a warning. Catty's enigmatic allure is undeniable, but she cannot be trusted. Do not under any circumstances tell her how to access your bank account!

Posted by jsmooth995 at April 6, 2004 2:05 AM

Comments

Wow, that is some War Games-like shit.

Perhaps WBAI would like to use a Catty-inspired station ID: "WBAI. Sometimes when you listen to this villain music you'll want to touch yourself in dirty places. Al Lewis, back to you."

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