hip hop music

February 18, 2005

Roc-A-Fella Fan Fiction

Though the "fanfic" scene offers thousands of untold stories from the worlds of Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Card Captor Sakura, the equally colorful characters of hip-hop have largely been ignored.

But rocascenes.com is out to change that, with a collection of stories exploring the secret lives of Jay-Z, Dame and crew. Purists probably won't consider these true fanfic, for one thing they don't focus enough on exploring the subjects' latent homoeroticism. But they are very stange and comical, for sure. Here's an excerpt from the latest entry, imagining a tet-a-tet between Jay-Z and the Game:

[ Somewhat unnerved by the beef brewing between him and Jigga, Game shows up at Def Jam's offices to straighten things out. Jay-Z, currently Def Jam's President, is welcome to hear what the Compton rapper has on his mind. ]

Jay's Secretary: Sir, your 1:15 is here to see you.

Jay: Aight Bleek, send 'em in.

Game: Allow me to reintroduce myself, my name is Game! *chuckles*

Jay: ....

Game: Remember that s**t?

Jay: .... come on in. *Jay invites Game into his office*

*Game steps in and his entourage tries to follow*

Jay: I'm gonna have to ask y'all to wait downstairs. No disrespect.

Game: Oh, no doubt, like Gwen Stefani.

Jay: .....

*Jay lets Game into his office and shuts the door*

Jay: Have a seat...

Game: *while walking towards Jay's desk, notices a 5 foot tall, 30 gallon container of water sitting in the middle of Jay's office* What's that there for?

Jay: That's not important right now... so, you have urgent business to discuss with me?

Game: Yeah man, I wanted to get at you dawg, like DMX.... you know...

Jay: Uh huh

Game: I just wanna clear up this so-called beefin s**t... like Ice Cube and Common.

Jay: I'm listenin.

Game: Please don't let me be misunderstood, like Nina Simone.

Jay: Why are you makin that face?

Game: What face?

Jay: That face you always make.

Game: Whatchu mean homie, that's just how I loo- *catches on and starts laughing* oh, I get it. You got jokes like Martin Lawrence. Tha's funny man. *points at Jay*

Jay: *points back*

Game: Aight, so about this lil beef or whatever. I was in the club, like 50 Cent, then I heard through the grapevine like Marvin Gaye, that you wanted some problems like Lil Scrappy.

Jay: Okay, well first off--

Game: NWA.

Jay: Huh?

Game: Express yourself.

Jay: .......okay, well first off I don't appreciate some of the comments you been throwin at my lil homie, Bleek.

Game: You got this nigga answerin yo' phone. He's Mr. Telephone Man, like New Edition.

Jay: But my homie is like my brother, and that's family. So it's like you disrespectin my family. You dig what I'm sayin?

Game: YEAH! like Usher and Lil Jon, baby.

Jay: *puts his hand on his forehead*

(found at OKP)

(EDIT: upon closer look I'm not feeling everything on this site, the misogyny and homophobia is a bit much at times)

Posted by jsmooth995 at February 18, 2005 4:32 PM

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