September 15, 2005

Bill Maher on Bush




via guerillanews:

"Mr. President, this job can't be fun for you any more. There's no more money to spend--you used up all of that. You can't start another war because you used up the army. And now, darn the luck, the rest of your term has become the Bush family nightmare: helping poor people. Listen to your Mom. The cupboard's bare, the credit cards maxed out. No one's speaking to you. Mission accomplished.

"Now it's time to do what you've always done best: lose interest and walk away. Like you did with your military service and the oil company and the baseball team. It's time. Time to move on and try the next fantasy job. How about cowboy or space man? Now I know what you're saying: there's so many other things that you as President could involve yourself in. Please don't. I know, I know. There's a lot left to do. There's a war with Venezuela. Eliminating the sales tax on yachts. Turning the space program over to the church. And Social Security to Fannie Mae. Giving embryos the vote.

"But, Sir, none of that is going to happen now. Why? Because you govern like Billy Joel drives. You've performed so poorly I'm surprised that you haven't given yourself a medal. You're a catastrophe that walks like a man. Herbert Hoover was a @#%$ president, but even he never conceded an entire city to rising water and snakes.

"On your watch, we've lost almost all of our allies, the surplus, four airliners, two trade centers, a piece of the Pentagon and the City of New Orleans. Maybe you're just not lucky. I'm not saying you don't love this country. I'm just wondering how much worse it could be if you were on the other side.

"So, yes, God does speak to you. What he is saying is: 'Take a hint.' "

Posted by jsmooth995 at September 15, 2005 6:24 PM
Comments

this is pretty damn funny, by all means please forward...

1. Go to google.com
2. Type in the word "failure"
3. DO NOT click search
4. Click "I'm Feeling Lucky" (the tab right next to search)

Posted by: neil nice at September 15, 2005 8:16 PM

the actual footage of this was posted on crookandliars.com ... it was hilarious.

Posted by: nOva at September 16, 2005 10:02 AM

This may be pretty damn funny but it is the truth. And I wish that Bush's sorry ass could read this!

Posted by: crazy k at September 16, 2005 12:12 PM

Yes, it was certainly a big failure on the part of people like you that Bush is still in the White House. Michael Moore failed. George Soros failed. Howard Dean failed. Yep, the fact that Bush is President is clearly indicative of your failures.

Posted by: BrunoNYC at September 16, 2005 1:15 PM

Hey, Buddy,

we all failed as Americans(feel better) and because of that, we deserved to suffer two more years of failure.

Fitting that you brought up Micheal Moore's name. For those of you who saw the close F 9-11,
in Bush's own words, he said "shame on you."
Too bad nobody took a hint. :)

Posted by: JV at September 16, 2005 10:41 PM

say no more. you've said it all.

Posted by: shoofly at September 20, 2005 12:23 PM

Why Hip-Hop continues to dominate the music scene, and Rock music continues to die out.

I am writing this as a record executive who has been asked quite a bit , "How come the labels are releasing so much rap and hip-hop?"

The answer: Rock musicians are not working the scene!

It's simple. Many rockers that I've talked to who say they want to get signed, feel like it's enough for them to play some shows, throw out some merchandise, some demos, and expect a label to come at them with the "perfect deal." This is not working it. Rockers do not understand the concept of sacrifice. And why should they?


I theorize that the reasons behind rock musicians' lack of work ethic and drive and hip-hop musicians "success at all costs" attitudes stem from both socio-economic and racial conditions. It is not an assumption, but a safe fact to point out that hip-hop performers are predominatly african-american and rock musicians are primarily white.

Many of the hip-hop artists we speak to are clearly trying to "move on up" from their current indigent situations. A job as an entertainer is respected, and a noble way to make money and move into better neighborhoods. Street smarts are applied to business strategy, and they understand the concept of climbing the ladder one rung at a time. Even a slow climb gets you higher than you were yesterday.

Rock musicians on the other hand have more options. Many have to face a decision of leaving their $40k/year jobs to only make $30k a year to follow their dreams. And let's face it, white musicians in the entertainment industry aren't exactly society's "cream of the crop." Most are here because they don't have the work ethic to maintain regular day jobs. They're looking for the easier softer way to quick riches. So unlike most black hip-hoppers, an intelligent and hard working white rocker knows that if he does anything other than entertainment (e.g. go to college, get a corporate job), he will have a better return on investment than if he stuck it out with his musical endeavors; OPTIONS. Unfortunately, that leaves rockers waiting like spoiled infants for things like advances and perks - all of which a record label doesn't care to give, especially considering the stereotype of the arrogant, lazy, irresponsible rock musician (the same reasons why they may not have good day jobs). Thus they don't get signed. And if they do get signed, most rock bands expect the labels to do ALL the work in terms of promotion. Hip-Hop performers on the other hand, have historically shown more dedication and continual focus on the prize regardless of what's going on around them.

Despite personal tastes in music, a label's job is to make money for its shareholders. Hip-Hop musicians are willing to sacrifice perks, their own free time, and their own money to ensure success. They're not afraid to take risks to change their current situation, because their current situation may not be too pleasant. It's unfortunate, because I like rock music. But Hip-Hop is going to continue to prevail due to a sacrifice ethic and true motivation - something a rock musician is never going to grasp.

Posted by: Anonymous Record Executive at September 28, 2005 7:01 PM

After reading shoofly's post about rock musicians and hip hop musicians I was sickened with the overtly and deplorable racial slights. To make a presumptuous and sweeping statement about white rockers being "lazy" and black hip hop artists being more "hungry". It is a very dangerous act when you group together entire races and peg them with different specific personality traces. One should never accept any prejudiced notion that an entire ethnicity carries a same personality trait because one never knows when and if the pendulum will swing back to the antebellum mentality of African-American inferiority. This is unacceptable. Please think before spouting racist comparisons. The United States history is a very imperfect one, but did we not anything from it?

Posted by: Umberto Audilo at October 11, 2005 3:10 PM

I don't know what it had to do with Bill Maher or Bush but I found shoofly's comments fascinating. As a rock musician myself, I find myself continuously frustrated with the attitudes of most bands who don't seem to grasp the ideas of promotion, building a name or even regular practice. There's room enough for both types of music but I wish more rock musicians would have the dedication to craft and career hip-hop does.

Posted by: Jon at October 14, 2005 1:35 PM

No doubt my dubious friend. Hip Hop will never die as long as you wanksta rockers lay around, bitchin' about your ladies. You rock boys gotta' get it out there and fierce!!!

Posted by: MC Somebody at October 14, 2005 1:39 PM

christmas pet present We do not speken to roost it, and if you thought-sick it we will not let you. During the fair-fashioned two years he sensed realised how inscribable assimilators he had uttered on this larrikiness eve

Posted by: christmas pet present at January 10, 2006 10:53 PM

Passing this on..comparable, long but worth it:

AN APOLOGY FROM A BUSH VOTER

By Doug McIntyre

Host, McIntyre in the Morning

Talk Radio 790 KABC

There’s nothing harder in public life than admitting
you’re wrong. By the way, admitting you’re wrong can
be even tougher in private life. If you don’t believe
me, just ask Bill Clinton or Charlie Sheen. But when
you go out on the limb in public, it’s out there where
everyone can see it, or in my case, hear it.

So, I’m saying today, I was wrong to have voted for
George W. Bush. In historic terms, I believe George W.
Bush is the worst two-term President in the history of
the country. Worse than Grant. I also believe a case
can be made that he’s the worst President, period.

In 2000, I was a McCain guy. I wasn’t sure about the
Texas Governor. He had name recognition and a lot of
money behind him, but other than that? What? Still, I
was sick of all the Clinton shenanigans and the
thought of President Gore was… unthinkable. So, GWB
became my guy.

For the first few months he was just flubbing along
like most new Presidents, no great shakes, but no
disasters either. He cut taxes and I like tax cuts.

Then September 11th happened. September 11th changed
everything for me, like it did for so many of you.
After September 11th, all the intramural idiocy of
American politics stopped being funny. We had been
attacked by a vicious and determined enemy and it was
time for all of us to row in the same direction.

And we did for the blink of an eye. I believed the
President when he said we were going to hunt down Bin
Laden and all those responsible for the 9-11 murders.
I believed President Bush when he said we would go
after the terrorists and the nations that harbored
them.

I supported the President when he sent our troops into
Afghanistan, after all, that’s where the Taliban was,
that’s where al-Qaida trained the killers, that’s
where Bin Laden was.

And I cheered when we quickly toppled the Taliban
government, but winced when we let Bin Laden escape
from Tora-Bora.

Then, the talk turned to Iraq and I winced again.

I thought the connection to 9-11 was sketchy at best.
But Colin Powell impressed me at the UN, and Tony
Blair was in, and after all, he was a Clinton guy, not
a Bush guy, so I thought the case had to be strong. I
was worried though, because I had read the Wolfowitz
paper, “The Project for the New American Century.”
It’s been around since ‘92, and it raised alarm bells
because it was based on a theory, “Democratizing the
Middle East” and I prefer pragmatism over theory. I
was worried because Iraq was being justified on a
radical new basis, “pre-emptive war.” Any time we do
something without historical precedent I get nervous.

But the President shifted the argument to WMDs and the
urgent threat of Iraq getting atomic weapons. The
debate turned to Saddam passing nukes on to terror
groups. After 9-11, the risk was too great. As the
President said, “The next smoking gun might be a
mushroom cloud.” At least that’s what I thought at the
time.

I grew up in New York and watched them build the World
Trade Center. I worked with a guy, Frank O’Brien, who
put the elevators in both towers. I lost a very close
friend on September 11th. 103 floor, tower one, Cantor
Fitzgerald. Tim Coughlin was his name. If we had to
take out Iraq to make sure something like that, or
worse, never happened again, so be it. I knew the
consequences. We have a soldier in our house. None of
this was theoretical in my house.

But in the months and years since shock and awe I have
been shocked repeatedly by a consistent litany of
excuses, alibis, double-talk, inaccuracies, bogus
predictions, and flat out lies. I have watched as the
President and his administration changed the goals,
redefined the reasons for going into Iraq, and fumbled
the good will of the world and the focus necessary to
catch the real killers of September 11th.

I have watched the President say the commanders on the
ground will make the battlefield decisions, and the
war won’t be run from Washington. Yet, politics has
consistently determined what the troops can and can’t
do on the ground and any commander who did not go
along with the administration was sacked, and in some
cases, maligned.

I watched and tried to justify the looting in Iraq
after the fall of Saddam. I watched and tried to
justify the dismantling of the entire Iraqi army. I
tired to explain the complexities of building a
functional new Iraqi army. I urged patience when no
WMDs were found. Then the Vice President told us we
were in the “waning days of the insurgency.” And I
started wincing again. The President says we have to
stay the course but what if it’s the wrong course?

It was the wrong course. All of it was wrong. We are
not on the road to victory. We’re about to slink home
with our tail between our legs, leaving civil war in
Iraq and a nuclear armed Iran in our wake. Bali was
bombed. Madrid was bombed. London was bombed. And Bin
Laden is still making tapes. It’s unspeakable. The
liberal media didn’t create this reality, bad policy
did.

Most historians believe it takes 30-50 years before we
get a reasonably accurate take on a President’s place
in history. So, maybe 50 years from now Iraq will be a
peaceful member of the brotherhood of nations and
George W. Bush will be celebrated as a visionary
genius.

But we don’t live fifty years in the future. We live
now. We have to make public policy decisions now. We
have to live with the consequences of the votes we
cast and the leaders we chose now.

After five years of carefully watching George W. Bush
I’ve reached the conclusion he’s either grossly
incompetent, or a hand puppet for a gaggle of detached
theorists with their own private view of how the world
works. Or both.

Presidential failures. James Buchanan, Franklin
Pierce, Jimmy Carter, Warren Harding-— the competition
is fierce for the worst of the worst. Still, the
damage this President has done is enormous. It will
take decades to undo, and that’s assuming we do
everything right from now on. His mistakes have global
implications, while the other failed Presidents mostly
authored domestic embarrassments.

And speaking of domestic embarrassments, let’s talk
for a minute about President Bush’s domestic record.
Yes, he cut taxes. But tax cuts combined with reckless
spending and borrowing is criminal mismanagement of
the public’s money. We’re drunk at the mall with our
great grandchildren’s credit cards. Whatever happened
to the party of fiscal responsibility?

Bush created a giant new entitlement, the prescription
drug plan. He lied to his own party to get it passed.
He lied to the country about its true cost. It was
written by and for the pharmaceutical industry. It
helps nobody except the multinationals that lobbied
for it. So much for smaller government. In fact,
virtually every tentacle of government has grown
exponentially under Bush. Unless, of course, it was an
agency to look after the public interest, or
environmental protection, and/or worker’s rights.

I’ve talked so often about the border issue, I won’t
bore you with a rehash. It’s enough to say this
President has been a catastrophe for the wages of
working people; he’s debased the work ethic itself.
“Jobs Americans won’t do!” He doesn’t believe in the
sovereign borders of the country he’s sworn to protect
and defend. And his devotion to cheap labor for his
corporate benefactors, along with his worship of
multinational trade deals, makes an utter mockery of
homeland security in a post 9-11 world. The
President’s January 7th, 2004 speech on immigration,
his first trial balloon on his guest worker scheme,
was a deal breaker for me. I couldn’t and didn’t vote
for him in 2004. And I’m glad I didn’t.

Katrina, Harriet Myers, The Dubai Port Deal,
skyrocketing gas prices, shrinking wages for working
people, staggering debt, astronomical foreign debt,
outsourcing, open borders, contempt for the opinion of
the American people, the war on science, media
manipulation, faith based initives, a cavalier
attitude toward fundamental freedoms-- this President
has run the most arrogant and out-of-touch
administration in my lifetime, perhaps, in any
American’s lifetime.

You can make a case that Abraham Lincoln did what he
had to do, the public be damned. If you roll the dice
on your gut and you’re right, history remembers you
well. But, when your gut led you from one business
failure to another, when your gut told you to trade
Sammy Sosa to the Cubs, and you use the same gut to
send our sons and daughters to fight and die in a
distraction from the real war on terror, then history
will and should be unapologetic in its condemnation.

None of this, by the way, should be interpreted as an
endorsement of the opposition party. The Democrats are
equally bankrupt. This is the second crime of our age.
Again, historically speaking, its times like these
when America needs a vibrant opposition to check the
power of a run-amuck majority party. It requires it.
It doesn’t work without one. Like the high and low
tides keep the oceans alive, a healthy, positive
opposition offers a path back to the center where all
healthy societies live.

Tragically, the Democrats have allowed crackpots,
leftists and demagogic cowards to snipe from the
sidelines while taking no responsibility for anything.
In fairness, I don’t believe a Democrat president
would have gone into Iraq. Unfortunately, I don’t know
if President Gore would have gone into Afghanistan.
And that’s one of the many problems with the
Democrats.

The two party system has always been clumsy and
imperfect, but it has only collapsed once, in the
1850s, and the result was civil war.

I believe, as I have said countless times, the two
party system is on the brink of a second collapsed.
It’s currently running on spin, anger, revenge, and
pots and pots and pots of money.

We’re being governed by paper-mache patriots; brightly
painted red, white and blue, but hollow to the core.
Both parties have mastered the cynical arts of media
manipulation and fund raising. They’ve learned the
lessons of Watergate and burn the tapes. They have
learned to divide the nation for their own gain. They
have demonstrated the willingness to exploit any
tragedy for personal advantage. The contempt they have
for the American people is without parallel.

This is painful to say, and I’m sure for many of you,
painful to read. But it’s impossible to heal the
country until we’re willing to acknowledge the truth
no matter how painful. We have to wean ourselves off
sugar coated partisan lies.

With a belated tip of the cap to Ralph Nader, the
system is broken, so broken, it’s almost inevitable it
pukes up the Al Gores and George W. Bushes. Where are
the Trumans and the Eisenhowers? Where are the men and
women of vision and accomplishment? Why do we have to
settle for recycled hacks and malleable ciphers?
Greatness is always rare, but is basic competence and
simple honesty too much to ask?

It may be decades before we have the full picture of
how paranoid and contemptuous this administration has
been. And I am open to the possibility that I’m all
wet about everything I’ve just said. But I’m putting
it out there, because I have to call it as I see it,
and this is how I see it today. I don’t say any of
this lightly. I’ve thought about this for months and
months. But eventually, the weight of evidence takes
on a gravitational force of its own.

I believe that George W. Bush has taken us down a
terrible road. I don’t believe the Democrats are
offering an alternative. That means we’re on our own
to save this magnificent country. The United States of
America is a gift to the world, but it has been badly
abused and it’s rightful owners, We the People, had
better step up to the plate and reclaim it before the
damage becomes irreparable.

So, accept my apology for allowing partisanship to
blind me to an obvious truth; our President is
incapable of the tasks he is charged with. I almost
feel sorry for him. He is clearly in over his head.
Yet, he doesn’t generate the sympathy Warren Harding
earned. Harding, a spectacular mediocrity, had the
self-knowledge to tell any and all he shouldn’t be
President. George W. Bush continues to act the part,
but at this point whose buying the act?

Does this make me a waffler? A flip-flopper? Maybe,
although I prefer to call it realism. And, for those
of you who never supported Bush, its also fair to
accuse me of kicking Bush while he’s down. After all,
you were kicking him while he was up.

You were right, I was wrong.

Posted by: arnold at May 13, 2006 5:03 PM

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