Because I Can't Believe Y'all Have the Nerve to Defend David Blaine

I have sought to restore my faith in America by looking for people who understand what I'm talking about:

Here we go, the NY Times gets it:

"the absurd seriousness with which Mr. Blaine approaches his public stunts leaves you with a certain glee at his failure... In dreamy montages last night, Mr. Blaine explained that these exercises are all part of his "journey," that they "make people think." Magic, he said, "brings people together who might not come together." Well, so does the airport. The beauty of old-school thrill seekers like Evel Knievel, whose interview with Mr. Blaine ran during the show, is that they did not seek to intellectualize their gamesmanship..."

Time Magazine gets it:

It is always a toss-up in a David Blaine special whether the creepiest aspect is the stunt itself or the weird New Age spirituality with which he presents it. Filling much of the two-hour ABC show with montages of his physical and mental preparation, Blaine talks like the prophet of some newly formed Church of Doing Weird Crap to Your Body, accompanied by meditation music. P. T. Barnum could once draw an audience by promising human spectacle and the possibility of a man getting himself killed; today, you have to promise a man getting himself killed while expanding his consciousness...

And this guy was really with me, so much that he kinda frightens me:

We'll set aside the masturbatory philosophizing about pushing his body to the limits...the real crime here (aside from the soul-afflicting boredom) laid in his desperate attempts to bask in and absorb the reflected glory of people like Aron Ralston, a hiker who cut off his own arm. David Blaine sat in a box for forty-four days. This hiker cut off his own arm. We'll not even get into the macabre rebroadcast of this woman's death during early primetime, and the creepy, mocking assurances by commentaters that Blaine would succeed where she failed.

So it was with great, almost electrically erotic pleasure that we saw Blaine submit to utter defeat. How I wish I could sprinkle his tears over my morning cheerios. The smug, self-satisfied, sadistically-monotoned, pointless, publicity-seeking ass nearly killed himself. I suppose what I'm trying to say is "David Blaine: Drowned Alive" totally delivered. After witnessing that, I wanted to high-five God."

This religious blog also gets what I'm saying, about Blaine's self-inflicted crucifixions..

But Grambo at whatevs thinks Dave just outsmarted all us haters by failing on purpose:

"The combination of Blaine's boring personal and professional life has resulted in the American public's overwhelmingly blasé attitude towards him. Case in point, last night's ratings; despite all the promotional muscle as ABC put into last night's "trick", the show finished fourth in its timeslot.

That's why last night's "failure" was the best possible career move that David Blaine's management ever dreamed up. Don't you see, the fact that Blaine is being mocked publicly is actually working to his advantage! By falling from grace (and tearfully accepting defeat), he has set himself up to be redeemed. And if there's one thing that everyone who reads US Weekly or watches "The Surreal Life" can attest to, it's that Americans love nothing more than a good comeback story. Holla atcha, CC DeVille!"