September 6, 2007

Nine Things You Should Know About The iPod Touch

Ok, so I know you're all excited about Apple's new iPhone With No Phone Attached, but there's a few things you might want to consider before shelling out that $300. Check out these flaws that my advance research has uncovered:

9. The iPod Touch battery lasts approximately 8 minutes.

8. The iTunes WiFi Music Store is still in beta, and currently only offers Peter Frampton albums.

7. The iPod Touch is coated with special chemicals designed to make Black men turn impotent.

6. The iPod Touch thinks Dane Cook is hilarious.

5. 50% of profits from the iPod Touch will be funneled into a Larry Craig presidential campaign (on the newly formed Wide Stance ticket).

4. All other profits go to Steve Jobs' dog. His grandchildren get NOTHING.

3. After 20 plays, the iPod Touch's DRM protection automatically remixes every file into a reggaeton song.

2. The iPod Touch's special touch screen is made with the eyeballs of baby pandas.

1. Every iPod Touch contains a secret pinhole camera that sends a live stream of your face to Steve Jobs' office where he spends each day cackling maniacally at your visage, "LOOK AT MY LITTLE DANCING MONKEYS! I OWN YOU, SHEEPLE!"

Just trying to help you be an educated consumer, my friends.

Posted by jsmooth995 at September 6, 2007 3:42 AM

Comments

YO!!!

I'm goin' crazy over here.

But I know that sometimes there are some Hip Hop and music heads over here and I'm bashing my head against the wall trying to remember the name of the artist who sung this song.

It was a girl emcee and DJ Miz was cuttin'.

It went something like this;

"I got sooooo much trouble on my mind"

"you got you got you got it"

repeat 4x.

I thought her name was MC LUDICROUS this was way before the down south dude.

Yo, anybody know the name of the song? And the classic that it sampled?

Is that the one by Free Soul?

Help!

-Black People

Posted by: Black People at September 6, 2007 1:35 PM

*Stomping on talkbox pedal* "I said, 'Do you feel?'"

Good list. So I take it you're more of a Shuffle fan, huh, Jay?

Posted by: Tony at September 6, 2007 5:37 PM

i got a zune...
respect microsofts gangsta.

Posted by: trusouth at September 6, 2007 7:30 PM

Funny.

Posted by: Jyle at September 6, 2007 7:30 PM

I have blackberry asdn a creative zen micro. My phone is better than the iphone and my mp3 player is better than the ipod. ipods and iphones are cool, but the iphone is a toy, and the ipod is outclassed by several mp3 players. but they send out mind control rays, and you just cant beat that.

Posted by: Kai at September 6, 2007 7:57 PM

The iPhone has alot of glitches. With the way that technology was made throughout the cell services, hackers that stole or bought the iPhone are able to hack in the AT&T lines to get personal information from your internet files, contacts, and messages. Most Likely things that you wouldn't want stolen. I wouldn't reccomend buying it until all of the glitches are worked out.

Posted by: Spencer at September 9, 2007 11:54 AM

reggaeton remixes NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Posted by: 1985supastar at September 12, 2007 6:00 PM

Thank you!!! I am so anti-Apple products that it's not even funny. I refuse to be sucked in by the hype. iproducts are a ripoff.

Posted by: hottnikz at September 12, 2007 10:04 PM

Thank you!!! I am so anti-Apple products that it's not even funny. I refuse to be sucked in by the hype. iproducts are a ripoff.

Posted by: hottnikz at September 12, 2007 10:05 PM

Nice double posting everyone. I love how people critique the ipod touch before even using it, not to mention everyones lack of stating their information is IMO.

Posted by: whathappened at September 17, 2007 1:07 PM

Nice double posting everyone. I love how people critique the ipod touch before even using it, not to mention everyones lack of stating their information is IMO.

Posted by: whathappened at September 17, 2007 1:08 PM

This is some Bootylicious equipment, I wizzle ta git one fo'christmas. I can listen ta music on it! I can also wiznatch videos n shizznit, its truly excellent.

Posted by: Shizzle bizzle at October 15, 2007 4:11 AM