February 23, 2006

Dilla's Last Days

If this isn't in every other blog already, it should be:

Jay Dee's last days

The untold story of the noted Detroit hip-hop producer's drive to make music in the face of life-threatening illness

It was near the end of summer 2005, and James Yancey was sitting in a hospital bed at Cedars-Sinai in Los Angeles.

He couldn't walk. He could barely talk. And after spending most of the winter and spring in the hospital, receiving treatment for a rare, life-threatening blood disease and other complications, he had been re-admitted.

His body was killing him, and little could be done about it.

It was a grim prognosis, but it wasn't deterring him from tinkering with his electronic drum machine...

In the sterile white hospital room, the tools of his trade surrounded him: turntables, headphones, crates of records, a sampler, his drum machine and a computer, stuff his mother and friends from L.A.-based record label Stones Throw had lugged to his hospital room. Sometimes his doctor would listen to the beats through Yancey's headphones, getting a hip-hop education from one of the best in the business.

Yancey tampered with his equipment until his hands swelled so much he could barely move them. When the pain was too intense, he'd take a break. His mother massaged his fingertips until the bones stopped aching.

Then he'd go back to work. Sometimes he'd wake her up in the middle of the night, asking to be moved from his bed to a nearby reclining chair so he could layer more hard-hitting beats atop spacey synths or other sampled sounds, his creations stored on computer. Yancey told his doctor he was proud of the work, and that all he wanted to do was finish the album.

Before September ended, he'd completed all but two songs for "Donuts," a disc that hit stores on Feb. 7, his 32nd birthday.

Three days after its release, he died.

Yancey, better known as Jay Dee or J Dilla, is acknowledged as the father of the Detroit hip-hop sound. Some people call him a creative genius, and his streetwise but soulful and musically tight production style influenced some of the world's biggest rap and R&B stars, from Kanye West to Janet Jackson to Erykah Badu, many of whom he worked with.

He was a champion of Detroit's urban music scene, and in the mid-'90s, when hip-hop was dominated by the East and West coasts, he put a distinct Motor City sound on the national map -- and provided inspiration to then-unknowns like Eminem, D12 and his own group, Slum Village.

As his reputation rose, he persisted with his distinct connection to the musical underground, serving as a sort-of people's champion of the non-commercial hip-hop scene.

Just as he was poised for even greater fame, he got sick -- a medical odyssey that would put him in and out of hospitals for the better part of four years, racking up staggering medical bills.

The instigator was a rare and incurable blood disease, but the complications were many, including recurring kidney failure, severe blood-sugar swings, immune system issues, heart trouble and what might have been lupus.

While rumors swirled in hip-hop circles that he was sick, the extent -- and specifics -- of his health concerns were largely kept secret. Yancey was not the type who wanted others to know about his problems. Even some of his closest friends didn't know what he did: Death was soon coming.

Since his death, fans have gathered to mourn his passing and celebrate his legacy, a mood that will continue today at a public Detroit memorial service. And for the first time, those who saw Yancey's struggles first-hand, including his mother and doctor, are talking about his final days.

January 2002: Something's wrong

Yancey first realized something was wrong in January 2002 after coming back from a gig in Europe, two years after Slum Village's first national release, "Fantastic Vol. 2." Instead of going to his home in Clinton Township, he went to his parents' house on Detroit's east side, complaining that he had a cold or the flu.

It was unusual behavior. Even as a kid he'd liked his privacy, but that night he needed to be with his mother, Maureen Yancey, hoping that she could somehow make it all better.

He was sick to his stomach. He had chills. And after he lay down, he said he felt worse.

His mother took him to the emergency room at Bon Secours Hospital in Grosse Pointe. His blood platelet count was below 10. It should have been between 140 and 180. Doctors told his mother they were surprised that he was still walking around.

Soon, a specialist from Harper Hospital would diagnose a thrombotic thrombocytopenic pura or TTP, a rare blood disease that causes a low platelet count. Abnormal cells were eating away the good cells. Doctors told him there was no cure or direct treatment.

Yancey stayed in the hospital for about a month and a half. Within weeks he had to go back for the same thing -- a trend that would continue for more than four years.

Despite the looming health problems, Yancey moved to L.A. about two years after he was diagnosed, determined to make music. Some things went well, including a musical collaboration and friendship with the rapper Common, who became his roommate. But he began to feel worse, and he met with a blood specialist who told him that in order to live, he'd have to endure medications and hospital treatments.

In November 2004, Yancey called his mother and asked if she'd come out to L.A. to help take care of him.

Disease leads to kidney failure

Yancey went into the hospital shortly after his mom arrived, and he stayed until March 2005. His mother, who slept at the hospital, never left his side. She began to take the reins of her son's health issues, which included mounting bills.

He had to take anti-immune and anti-inflammation steroids. A medication designed to suppress his immune system gave him high blood sugar, and he was taken off it.

The TTP also led to kidney failure. His kidneys would shut down, spring back, shut down again. The three-times-a-week, four-hour dialysis treatments were sometimes so painful he had to be unhooked from the machine.

Because he was lying in bed for long periods, his legs swelled, making it difficult to walk. He needed a wheelchair or a walker or cane -- the latter he used when he could get out to the music store to look for records, or to a nearby fruit market to get juice or a 7-Eleven Slurpee, a treat. Sometimes he would forget how to swallow and would have to relearn. He lost 50% of his weight.

"A lot of times, just when we would get ready to get going, he would get sick again," Maureen Yancey said. "He was so tired of going back. It was very sedentary. Just watching him, it was sad at times. He couldn't do what he wanted to."

In 2005, weeks before his 31st birthday, doctors diagnosed something that looked like lupus, a chronic inflammatory disease that can affect the skin, joints, blood and kidneys. His doctor said it was probably what contributed to the low platelet count and the frequent swelling and pain in his hands.

Sure, those long hospital stays had plenty of undesirable consequences. But it was the inability to touch the music, to pick it out of records bins, twist it and create it, that made those long stays feel never-ending.

The hospital bills mount

Even though he had insurance through the American Federation of Television and Radio Artists, the cost to keep Yancey alive was steep, and he had to pay much of it himself.

Bills for the lengthy hospital stays topped $200,000 each time. Dialysis three times a week cost $1,800. Each once-a-week shot to raise his hemoglobin cost $1,800. He had dozens of prescriptions -- $700, $900 or even $2,000 out of pocket per bottle. He had large co-pays -- one was $6,700 a week -- because he had to see specialists.

His mother, who today gets medical invoices almost daily, has yet to total up the costs. His plan was to make more music -- he had a project lined up with Will Smith -- to pay the bills and leave money to take care of his Detroit-based daughters, Ja-mya Yancey, 4, and Ty-monet Whitlow, 5.

To pay the bills, Maureen says, she'll work the rest of her life if she has to.

A Detroit friend steps in

Mike Buchanan, better known as DJ House Shoes, first met Yancey in the mid-'90s at Street Corner Music in Beverly Hills. House Shoes worked there and Yancey was a wanna-be music producer on the hunt for albums.

After Yancey moved to L.A., their friendship waned. In early 2005, House Shoes heard the rumor that Yancey was in a coma and might not pull through. He booked a flight to L.A. and packed a bunch of CDs -- random beats CDs, a mix-tape CD that House Shoes had recently released and anything else he thought Yancey would want to hear.

He stayed a week, spending every day in the hospital with him.

His friend looked different -- he was smaller and quieter. House Shoes struggled, not wanting to pry too much about the details of his friend's illness.

"I poker-faced it," House Shoes would say a year later. "It was hard as hell."

At his hospitalized birthday celebration, Yancey got cake -- chocolate, his favorite -- from one of his record labels, Stones Throw. He also got a baseball jersey decorated with Detroit street signs.

Then there was a private gift.

House Shoes called about 35 people in Detroit -- some who knew Yancey and others who'd never met him but appreciated his contributions to hip-hop. He had them leave birthday and get-well greetings on his voice mail.

"Man, listen to this crazy message this girl left me," House Shoes said, bringing his cell phone closer to Yancey's ear.

Then he let them play. All 35 messages. There in his hospital bed, Yancey broke down and cried.

Yancey hides his condition

Yancey kept quiet about how bad things really were.

After that early 2005 stint at the hospital -- the one that prompted hip-hop message boards to report he was in a coma -- he granted an interview to hip-hop magazine XXL for its June edition.

In the interview, he denied that he was comatose, and said that he had gotten sick overseas. "As soon as I got back," he told the magazine, "I had the flu or something, and I had to check myself into the hospital. Then they find out I had a ruptured kidney and was malnourished from not eatin' the right kinda food. It was something real simple, but it ended with me being in the hospital."

Only his doctor and his mother knew how bad it really was.

Detroit rapper Proof, like many of Yancey's friends, never wanted to push it.

"We never really got into the sickness thing. I would be like 'How you doing?' He would be like 'Better,' " Proof said.

The Bible provides comfort

Yancey became more spiritual in the last year of his life.

He and his mother studied the story of Job, which tackles the question of why innocent people suffer, and which biblical scholars interpret to be about faith and patience.

"For God maketh my heart soft, and the Almighty troubleth me: because I was not cut off before the darkness, neither hath he covered the darkness from my face."

His doctor said he had come to terms with illness.

"He didn't want to be a professional patient," said Dr. Aron Bick, Yancey's L.A.-based hematologist, who also is an oncologist. "The treatment was difficult because he would not want to go to the hospital. He was very intelligent. He said, 'I hear you, doc. But here are my decisions about my own life.'

"I admired that on a human level. He got the medical care he needed. He really did not let his medical situation handicap his life. To him, life came first. He made peace with himself before we even knew it. And then he made peace with his mom."

On his 32nd birthday, Yancey spent the day at his L.A. home.

Roommate Common bought him a birthday cake, chocolate, of course. DJ Peanut Butter Wolf and Madlib, friends from hip-hop's underground, came over with a cake in the shape of a chocolate doughnut, to honor the "Donuts" album, which was released that day.

Their visit was brief, because Yancey felt uncomfortable with people seeing him that way.

They left the cake at the door. Yancey had a small piece. It was all his aching stomach could take.

It hadn't quite been a month since he'd left the hospital, and he'd just learned how to swallow again. Because his voice wasn't strong, he sometimes refused to open his mouth. He was shuffling around his home with a walker -- he'd gotten rid of the wheelchair weeks before.

"At that point I really felt like something was wrong, more so than ever," said Peanut Butter Wolf. "Even a few weeks before that he was in a wheelchair, but he was energetic and showing me music and showing me his equipment and talked about moving all of his equipment that's still in Detroit to L.A."

Still, in spite of the pain, he was happy. His one prayer had been answered. This was the first birthday in four years that he hadn't spent in a hospital.

'It's going to be all right'

In the last days of his life, as he shuffled up and down the hallway, he had heart-to-heart chats with his mother. They were quick. But they were thoughtful.

"You know I love you, right?" he said. "And I appreciate everything you've ever done for me."

"You don't have to say that," she said.

He and his mother had developed a ritual that preceded medical procedures: They'd slap high-fives, an indication that everything was going to be OK.

At home, the day after his birthday, he held his hand up for his mom to meet it in midair.

She was puzzled. There was no procedure that day. Why was he doing this?

He continued to motion for her to high-five him, refusing to stop until her hand met his.

Finally, she relented and gave it to him.

"That's what I'm talking about," he said. "We're in this together. It's all good. You're going to be all right. I promise you it's going to be all right."

Contact KELLEY L. CARTER at 313-222-8854 or carter@freepress.com.

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Posted by jsmooth995 at February 23, 2006 08:43 PM
Comments

this is absolutely heartbreaking... yet also encouraging to hear that he made peace with himself and his mother.

Posted by: dan at February 23, 2006 10:58 PM

Thank you for this Jay Smooth.

A very heartbreaking, yet touching story.

I'll make a post and spread the love -- the love of the late and great J Dilla (R.I.P.).

Posted by: Trent at February 24, 2006 11:37 AM

whoa, sad. it's going to be bittersweet listening to 'donuts'

Posted by: missruckus at February 24, 2006 06:53 PM

"these are the rules of life and death..."

Posted by: chuckie chill at February 25, 2006 12:12 PM

I'M STARTING TO NOT LIKE GOD NOWADAYS.
HE ALWAYS GOT TO GO AND TAKE THE GOOD ONES AWAY FROM US AND KEEP THEM FOR HIMSELF.THANX ALOT YOU SELFISH BASTARD! I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN IN LOVE WITH JAY'S MUSIC.IT WAS JUST A REFRESHING DIFFERENCE TO LISTEN TO.HIS MUSIC WAS VERY DIFFERENT FROM THE MAINSTREAM SOCIETY AND HE WAS ENTANGLED IN THIS CULT OF CERTAIN RAPPERS AND PRODUCERS WHO MAKE GOOD MUSIC.AND THEY ALL JUST STICK TO ONE ANOTHER AND NEVER DEALT WITH THE OTHER GARBAGE.ANYWAY I LOVED HIS BEATS.IT WAS ALL ABOUT THE SPACEY SYNTHS WITH A DRUM PATTERN THAT PLAYED WITH SO MUCH AUTHORITY,AGRESSIVNESS AND SOUNDED SO REAL.I'LL MISS HIM NEVER WILL A MPC BE TUCHED BY HANDS AS TALENTED AS THOSE.SOMETIMES I WONDER WHY CERTAIN PEOPLE MUST BE SO PERSECUTED IN LIFE? AND THE EVIL ONES ROAM THE WORLD EAGER TO DESTROY IT MORE.I'M ALSO THANKFUL FOR HIS MOMS.THEY DON'T MOTHERS LIKE THAT NO MORE! SHE STUCK BY HER SON THROUGH THE WORST PHYSICAL AND MENTAL PAIN THAT A HUMAN BEING CAN GO THROUGH.ITS PAINFUL SO SEE YOUR CHILD THAT YOU GAVE BIRTH TO SLOWLY WITHER AND DIE IN YOUR ARMS AND YOU CAN'T DO NOTHING ABOUT IT.I JUST WISHED HE COULD HAVE LEFT HER MORE.BUT THE ONE THING SHE DOESN'T KNOW YET (AND SHE CAN ASK BIG AND TUPAC'S MOTHERS),IS THAT JAY DEE WILL LIVE FOREVER IN MUSIC BECOUSE HIS FAMILIAR VOICE WILL BE HEARD ON HER WAY TO WORK BY PASSING CARS,HIS INSPIRATIONED PEOPLE WILL LEARN VALUABLE LESSONS AND WILL BE CONTINUED INSPIRATIONS BY HER SON.WAX NEVER DIES.JAY DEE WILL LIVE FOREVER .MAYBE NOT IN MY MEMORY,BUT ON WAX AND IN OUR HEARTS.

R.I.P. MPC-SYNTHESIZER PIMP THE HOLY FATHER SENT YOU HERE,YOU DID YOUR JOB AND LEFT US BETTER THAN IF YOU NEVER CAME AT ALL.MISSION ACCOMPLISHED !

I ALWAYS WANTED TO MEET YOU JUST TO SHAKE YOUR HAND AND TELL YOU THANX.BUT I'LL DO THAT ON THE OTHER SIDE.

Posted by: mikey general at February 26, 2006 12:38 PM

It really is amazing how we learn so much more about men after their deaths. Looking back, I was introduced to JD, via Funk Flex first mixtape (during the time he was trying to break real underground talent). I'd always loved and respected the Tribe's beats, but didn't know they were JD's.

RIP. Definitely a rare talent.

Posted by: AG at February 27, 2006 09:56 PM

man.....it's crazy because sometimes i still feel my self being in denial. i don't know why but maybe it's the way he went out. in a culture where it seems like cat's go out violently, i never pictured one going out with a health related issue.....especially my fav.!! i've been a m.c. since '85 and i'll say around 99 or so i didn't really have alot of inspiration musically.

like many, i'd heard his tracks but did not know it was him who was behind so many of my fav. bangers. my d.j. @ the time said he wanted me to hear this one joint and it was "players" from slum village and i was like"that's it.....that's exactly how i feel musically"....and what was so dope is, i was talking about his production..... i'm not a producer!! ya see what i'm sayin??

fast forward to 2/14/06
i go to his wake(i thought it would be a vidule and not so personal...had i known that i would have left that time with fam. and friends)and i walk into a room with is body and mpc,turntable,mad blunts from his crew,alot of personal pics and those signature dilla hats. i got to hug mama dilla and she was the strongest one in the whole place. you could tell she accepted the inevtiable a long time ago. i guess it was so hard because he felt like i lost one of the homies all though i've never met him. i'm crying as i type this.....but it's tears of joy knowing how much and long he suffered.

i've never typed this on any page but reading this def. gives me closure for the departure of the best who ever did it.....fuck what you heard.

rest in beats dilla dog!!

thanks for sharing this with us

Posted by: shawn jackson at March 1, 2006 07:03 PM

J.Dilla to me was, and is, an inspiration. I am also from Detroit and when I found out that he went on to be with the Lord, it was like I lost a family member. His music has helped me to produce my music. The hip-hop community has truly lost an innovator. His music will live on through me and all of the 313 family. Now his soul has evolved. At least we now know that he is in heaven makin' beats for Almighty God. PEACE!!!

Posted by: Cidric McCray a.k.a. SouleEvolve at March 3, 2006 02:06 PM

Am from South Africa,n I was and am still touched by the late great J Dilla's music.He was the man and i hope music will be felt n live on for ever.R.I.P.\ Leano21@webmail.co.za

Posted by: L Ngoasheng at March 8, 2006 04:51 AM

Street Cornner Music was in Southfield, Michigan. I knew both of them personal. I am a close friend of Dilla and House Shoes. Me and Dill stayed on the same side of town and he was always into his music. As for me, into my dancing and Music. I am a Former Dancer for Def Comedy Jam, B E T's own TV Show, Teen Summit, Planet Groove, and Former Host for Rap City Old School. I was inspired by his talent and my other close friend, T3 and Baatin of Slum Village. I told my boss to get them on the show and when she listen to their Music, she was so convince by me that they had skills. So, she booked them to come on the show. This was back in the mid 90's. Dilla and Shoes have been doing beats for so long, they should have about 1000's or more tracks that are not even out and so many local artist are just rhyming on them and these catz are nice. People just do not know but the movie "8Mile" was not just based on Marshall's life but we live the life with him. The people in the movie are the "ORIGINATORS" of the Shelter and Detroit HipHop. It is a shame that we had lost a Beloved one and a close friend to many and he will not be forgotten. As for Shoes, I wish him the best because he deserves it. Now, as for me, I am now currently serving "OPERATION IRAQI FREEDOM" and to hear not only the lost of Dilla but another close Friend "Proof" of D12, it is so hard for me to cope due to again the memories that we all have together. I do wish my boy Shoes the best and I will see him when I get back home.

Patillo

Posted by: Patillo at April 15, 2006 05:53 PM

I can't even begin to say how hurt I was when I heard fo Dilla's death. He has been an inspiration to everyone I know. His music alone has gotten me through some of the best and worst times of my life. With hip hop as it stands it today in peril....We will feel his loss...it is going to resonate through music forever....Dilla you will be missed! You are loved!! Rest in Beats!!!

Posted by: Jessica Goodman at May 2, 2006 03:57 PM

You guys are the 32645 best, thanks so much for the help.

Posted by: Caty Tota at August 1, 2006 06:57 PM


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