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May 2005 Archives

May 10, 2005

Jesus Christ in legal battle to get license

From cnn.com:

Jesus Christ in legal battle to get license

Described by his attorney as a white-haired businessman in his mid-50s, Christ is moving to West Virginia to enjoy a slower lifestyle. He bought property near Lost River, about 100 miles west of Washington, and has a U.S. passport, Social Security card and Washington driver's license bearing the name Jesus Christ.

But he still falls short of West Virginia title and license transfer requirements because his Florida birth certificate has his original name on it and he has been unable to obtain an official name change in Washington.

"We just need official documentation that that's his name," said Doug Stump, commissioner of the West Virginia Division of Motor Vehicles. "He will be treated no different than anybody else."


Any comment from the man in the middle of this legal tussle?

"Christ is not speaking to the press at this time," Pishevar said.

May 12, 2005

Firefox video campaign storms the Web

From news.zdnet.co.uk:

Firefox video campaign storms the Web

The Mozilla Foundation's latest advertising campaign is already proving a success, racking up nearly half a million hits in less than a week, according to the organisation on Thursday.


The videos, hosted on the Funnyfox Web site, feature various people who seem to be having extreme reactions when they discover Firefox for the first time.

May 16, 2005

The worst foods to eat over a keyboard

From zdnet:

The worst foods to eat over a keyboard

We all do it, even though we know we probably shouldn’t.

Whether it’s merely snacking to help pass the time or voraciously devouring lunch while trying to restore the CEO’s files we inadvertently deleted, we all eat at our keyboard. On any given day, my keyboard is assaulted with fragments of chocolate, drops of coffee, blobs of spaghetti sauce, and those long, stringy things that fall off bananas.

During a recent keyboard degunking attempt, I found myself musing on what would constitute the absolute worst foods to eat while typing. In making this determination, three factors have to be considered:

* The propensity of the food to fall
* The likelihood of the food becoming attached to or inserted into the keyboard
* The degree of difficulty associated with the removal

With these factors in mind, here are my worst-food nominations:

* Plain whole grain rice. It falls easily and it’s likely to end up inside the keyboard, but removing it is relatively easy to accomplish if it is allowed to thoroughly dry before the attempt is made.

* Angel hair pasta. Although not likely to fall, angel hair pasta exhibits a distinct proclivity for trailing. If the trailing strand of pasta should happen to be coated with a sticky sauce, it is likely to adhere to the keys, or even descend between them. Removal from keys is not challenging unless the pasta disappears completely from sight — if that occurs, removal is almost impossible. If an end is protruding, grasp it firmly between forefinger and thumb and gently extract. This process may have the added benefit of picking up other small fragments which have fortuitously adhered to the sticky pasta.

* Sunflower seeds with shells. It is impossible to eat more than 12 sunflower seeds without losing at least one shell fragment somewhere under the space bar, although this does somewhat depend upon the seed-shucking method employed. Once in the keyboard, sunflower seeds are notoriously difficult to remove, as inverting the keyboard usually does little more than relocate the offending fragments from the base of the keyboard to the cavity inside a key.

* Rice Bubbles (with or without milk). Dry Rice Bubbles go everywhere. One slight puff of air and they are in your hair, on your desk, and infiltrating the nether regions of your keyboard. Removing them is relatively simple, however; type vigorously for a few minutes to reduce them to Rice Bubbles dust and then apply suction. Wet Rice Bubbles are more stable but more difficult to extract. Even when the sodden Bubbles have dried out, they tend to resist extraction by holding fast to your keyboard’s innards. Rice Bubbles treats are a safer alternative.

* Jelly. Jelly is inherently unstable and apt to become separated from its means of transportation. Once blobbed on a keyboard, jelly has a tendency to stick to the keys and slide between them, particularly if the maker of the jelly was a little overgenerous with the water. Removing jelly is a sticky, nasty business frequently resulting in keys that never quite rebound as they once did. Sugar-free jelly made with approximately two-thirds of the recommended water is more likely to bounce than stick.

* A Flake bar. To fully appreciate the flavour-enhancing effect of the unusual texture, this delicacy must be experienced at least 20 or 30 times a month. Eating a Flake over a keyboard is an extremely hazardous operation, usually detrimental to one’s enjoyment of the experience. It is a scientific fact that it is impossible to bite a Flake without causing a minor chocolate meteorite shower. Although the pieces of chocolate don’t interfere with typing or cause any unusual keyboard noises, Flakes still qualify as one of the worst keyboard foods because losing so much of this delicious chocolate is simply tragic. Flakes should be eaten only while lying on one’s back, over a paper towel to catch and recycle the crumbs, or in a large bowl of vanilla ice cream. If you must eat a Flake at your keyboard, which is quite understandable, try substituting its less volatile cousin, the Flake Luxury — a chocolate-covered Flake. Yep, chocolate-covered chocolate; life doesn’t get much better than this.

May 23, 2005

Chicago Crime Map


Chicagocrime.org is a freely browsable database of crimes reported in Chicago. The URL above is to their google map hack so you can see where the crimes have occurred.

May 24, 2005

Brain Downloads

CNN reports that brain downloads may be possible in our lifetime, along with lots of other freakiness:

Brain downloads 'possible by 2050'

By the middle of the 21st century it will be possible to download your brain to a supercomputer, according to a leading thinker on the future.

Ian Pearson, head of British Telecom's futurology unit, told the UK's Observer newspaper that the rapid advances in computing power would make cyber-immortality a reality within 50 years.

Pearson said the launch last week of Sony's PlayStation 3, a machine 35 times more powerful than the model it replaced, was a sign of things to come.

"The new PlayStation is one percent as powerful as the human brain," Pearson told the Observer. "It is into supercomputer status compared to 10 years ago. PlayStation 5 will probably be as powerful as the human brain..."

..."We're already looking at how you might structure a computer that could become conscious. Consciousness is just another sense, effectively, and that's what we're trying to design in computer."

Pearson said that computer consciousness would make feasible a whole new sphere of emotional machines, such as airplanes that are afraid of crashing...

May 25, 2005

Light-Sabre Duel Puts Two in Hospital

From mirror.co.uk:

Light-Sabre Duel Puts Two in Hospital

TWO Star Wars fans are in a critical condition in hospital after duelling with lightsabres made by filling fluorescent light tubes with petrol.

The pair - a man aged 20 and a girl of 17 - are believed to have been filming a mock fight when one of the devices exploded in woodland on Sunday.

They were rushed to West Herts Hospital before being transferred to the specialist burns unit at Broomfield Hospital, Chelmsford, in Essex.

Police say a third person present at the incident was questioned.

May 26, 2005

Lucas' idea for new Star Wars Prequel?

From cinematical.com:

Lucas' idea for new Star Wars Prequel?

George Lucas said he was finished with the Star Wars movies. Ebert didn't believe him, Karina didn't get it, but more importantly - WE wanted more. Stupid Us. It seems George Lucas told a scooper that he has an idea for another add-on to the Star Wars movie series: a prequel to The Phantom Menace. The story would follow the Jedi regaining control of the universe from the many Dark Lords some 88 years before Anakin Skywalker ever graced the universe. Yoda, who, according to Lucas, was instrumental in the effort, would apparently have a headlining role. However, Lucas, now age 60, says he won't be captaining such a ship if it ever happens.

About May 2005

This page contains all entries posted to The Inane Asylum in May 2005. They are listed from oldest to newest.

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