July 2, 2009

JULY: Cankle Awareness Month??

One small step backwards for our respect of women, one giant leap forward for cheap publicity!

JULY: Cankle Awareness Month??

I’m pleased to announce that Gold’s Gym has, with a straight face, declared July “Cankle Awareness Month”. What is a cankle? It’s when your calf morphs into your ankle. It’s not a good look. Gold’s calls it a “growing epidemic”, and wants you to come in and sign up for help. It’s also offering free tips online.

According to the website, “Cankles are the fastest growing ‘aesthetic affliction’ in the United States… even ahead of other bathing suit killers like Muffin Tops, Saddle Bags and Moobs.” Moobs? Does that stand for man boobs? TMI. “In fact, it is estimated that if current trends continue, by the year 2012 Cankles will surpass Love Handles as the number one aesthetic affliction in the world.” Oh really? One would suspect that the person with cankles already has love handles, I mean Love Handles. These “afflictions” have apparently become so serious they deserve capitalization.

Gold’s suggests cankle-busting exercises like…walking! And there are style ideas! Avoid shoes with ankle straps, choosing wedges and platform sandals to make the leg look longer and leaner. “At the gym, wear bright sneakers to draw attention away from the ankle.”

JULY: Cankle Awareness Month??

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Posted at July 2, 2009 3:33 AM

So is next month...Muffin Top Month!

Posted by: alysha at July 2, 2009 6:53 AM

i've had "cankles" since i was little. i don't believe its something you can get rid of by walking.. i've been athletic my entire life with cheerleading and softball.. i have abs and can squat almost 200 pounds. thats pretty damn fit for a girl lol and they're still there so good luck with that golds

Posted by: britney at July 2, 2009 8:10 AM

I agree with alysha, I've had "cankles" my entire life as well, through all body shapes. I gained weight and they were still there and I have lost it all and they are still there.. So yeah good luck with that!!! Really there isn't more serious matters in today's world to worry about!!!

Posted by: Anonymous at July 2, 2009 8:26 AM

wonderful investigating journalism from Onbc,Walter Cronkite would be proud.

Posted by: welfare leach at July 2, 2009 8:33 AM

I have just developed a medical procedura called segregation. We intend to ship all citizens afflicted with cankleitis to the Pacific island of Palau where USA will genetically segregate the desirable "ankles" into the gene pool, being the only solution to this pressing matter. I have also suggested segregating gays, Steroid abusers, citizens with crows feet & near sightedness, politicians & ugly babies among others. Thes methods will be cheap because Dr. Naz E. Parati has already conducted the neccessary field research.

Posted by: Dr. Hassan Gupta Jehozafish at July 2, 2009 9:27 AM

I don't think that Gold's is trying to change peoples natural leg shape. They are trying to promote fitness, just doing a different spin in the marketing. There was a segment on the Today Show about obesity in America. Shocker, but Americans just keep getting fatter, with more people joining the flock every year. Not one state had a decrease in their obesity rates. That's just plain disturbing!

Posted by: Kenli at July 2, 2009 9:31 AM

Dr. Hassan Gupta, if you gt congressional approval for your "solution to the cankle problem", please telephone me as my wife has severe cankles, and I would like to get the nagging bitch out of my trailer. Also, she would enjoy the sunlight & water that an island would offer. I am a steroid abuser, but it has been years since I blasted the stuff, so please exclude me because I want away from that mouthy bitch.

Posted by: Jimmy Thorpe at July 2, 2009 9:38 AM

Rico loves feet, but hates the ladies that have a shin protruding from their foot. I think these girlies would be much sexier if they just cut off their legs. One times I was relationing a gal in my studio apartment (while another hid in the pantry), and when I removed her thigh highs, I puke on her face / chest area at the sight of cankles. It's cool through because I had a warm towel handy, cleaned her up, & proceded to canine configuration (The unsightly deformaty was behind me at that time). I suggest using paper bags, as I have done with other un-desirable body parts. I can sniff her shoes to get my footie fix.

Posted by: RE; Cole Suave at July 2, 2009 9:44 AM

I luv da fat bitches, and cankles included. It's absurd to stigmatize women in this matter. Nothing turns me on more than shoving those cankles behind her head & showing them what da Presidential bro is capable of. My last girlfriend told me an eatng disorder is the only way to actually lose weight & keep it off, but I liked her plump so I put bacon grease in her orange juice, and fried hot dogs several times a day. She tricked me, & would gag herself afterward. So if you want to lose weight, get rid of love handles/ cankles/ etc. Develop an eating disorder to get those things in order. If you want to get with old rog, eat a chicken sandwhich. Call me!! (606) 226-8348

Posted by: Roger Clinton at July 2, 2009 9:51 AM

I am fat, I get it! So, if you have cankles, wear tube socks. I am highly depressed frombeing a fatass. If there are any other overweight people that can help me, my number is (606) 886-3509 . Cell # (606) 339-6213

Posted by: Nick Ramey at July 2, 2009 9:54 AM

How dare you people talk about something other than michael jacksun. he was a pop icon [I guess from Pepsi commercials] and one of the most important people accused of child molestation of his generashun. when he moonwalked i was like OMG, he was the greatest! I wish I could have had his babies!! forget cankles, let's see some more michael jackson articles. i want to know about what rides were at neverland, and what kind of paddle joe used on mike when he was a toddler. I want to know his penis size [I wnder is Lisa Marie knows??? get back to me please]. Beat it duh duh duh duh just beat it beat it beat it duh duh duh duh. MICHEAL JACKSUN FOR EVA!! WHOOOOO!!!

Posted by: mike fan 1029382 at July 2, 2009 10:00 AM

Yah, my fav is Smooth Criminal, but the Thriller album was great. I heard Quincy Jones sold his soul to the devil to produe that thing. You Know Diana Ross has Cankles now?

Posted by: John Remus at July 2, 2009 10:10 AM

Michael Jackson was a child molesting drug abuser who thought he had the right to prescribe his own medication. Anyone forget how disturbed the Culkin twins are? HEE HEE! shananananana ow! Sleep in my bed kids. It's a loving procedure. I think he like children because they don't have cankles. Only fat chicks & midgets have cankles.

Posted by: Catfish Cline at July 2, 2009 10:14 AM

operation CANKLE is an ongoing CIA operation to fill California with debt, drugs, mexicans, and wierdos (Michael Jackson was a major part of it). Bells & whistles everywhere at the center were they track this shit is goin crazy because michael jackson & cankle has been mentioned so many times on this website. I bet the owners are already getting water boarded.

They name the operations with a dia-tab (2 letters denoting the area of the operation ie California) and the other part is a dictionary word. I'm not sure what this operation is supposed to do, but instilling SCHWARZENEGGER as governor was a big part of it, and I think they plan on trading it to China for some of the debt back.

Posted by: Kahn Spire Ehsee at July 2, 2009 10:19 AM

I weigh 128 lbs and have had cankles my whole life.
According to my dr, it's an inherited condition and outside of plastic surgery,not much can be done with it. Where high heels help give the illusion of an ankle, but the best thing I can say to anyone with this same condition is--live with it!

Posted by: wtfwiththeworld at July 2, 2009 12:03 PM

Omg, like I am so glad that this forum exists! I have had cankles since I was a newborn, and can't seem to get rid of them (I'm 37). Can anyone help me get rid of them???? omg

Posted by: Cankle Carl at July 2, 2009 12:08 PM

There is actually another reason people get cankles that I think is important to distinguish. Perhaps they're not really cankles since they aren't fat deposits, but they're caused by swelling of the feet and ankles. This is usually a product of poor circulation as far as I know, and is treated by walking (or other forms of cardio if the patient is able), elevating the feet, using ice packs on the feet, and taking ibuprofen or acetominophen when necessary.

So people with this problem could look like they have cankles, but instead of excess fat they have swelling in the ankle area. If you think you have this problem you should see your doctor! It is usually treatable by the above methods but its important to get checked out for high blood pressure and other circulatory issues.

Posted by: AllisonS at July 2, 2009 12:09 PM

I have cankles, tho older I become the worse its getting. I ride bikes, walk, ball squats you name it. I've tried everthing except Lipo. Help.

Posted by: Canlkegirl at July 2, 2009 12:52 PM

I was born with them, and no matter how thin and fit I am; they are still there. All the working out I do and did in the past; NEVER got rid of them. So, it is not something that goes away like belly fat or a big butt. It is what it is.

Posted by: PAgirl at July 2, 2009 2:04 PM

did anyone posting replies on this site go to school? i've never seen such bad grammer.

Posted by: Phil Lacio at July 2, 2009 2:11 PM

I personally am a big fan of cankles. All of my mens like them too and my big feets. I think people with cankles should receive extra benefits from the Government just like the illegal immigrants.
Peace, Love and Cankles

Posted by: Connie Lingus at July 2, 2009 2:14 PM

I think people who are offended by this are taking a marketing campaign way too seriously. Gold's is trying to promote physical fitness and get more people into the gym (that is their business after all).

Posted by: izzyizzy at July 2, 2009 2:31 PM

Cankles are genetic for a lot people. Promoting physical fitness to get rid of them is stupid since the people that have them from fat are probably not going to even pay attention to the "awarness campaign" and the ones that were born with them are just going to be pissed off that they are being told they have a defect. Golds should choose a different marketing idea rather than cankles

Posted by: d at July 2, 2009 3:22 PM

This is just one bullshit bodypart that society is trying to conform to it's perfect image! What the hell is going on?! It is time to say this is enough. We all know what Gold's really means... WOMEN with cankles need their help! On average you do not see mens' ankles as often as womens'! Everyday I turn on the TV and see more advertisements showing women how they can be more perfect. Damn they even want our armpits to be prettier! I workout everyday and I am in excellent shape but I have a large bone structure which means that I have large ankles...aka...CANKLES!! I have never liked Gold's, they are the gym that only wants perfect people working out in their windows. All the less than perfects are shown the dark corner of the gym. Well, GOLD'S you can kiss my cankles!! These large ankles of mine have seen me through many years and have never broken!

Posted by: blueszoo at July 2, 2009 3:36 PM

I'll bet Jack Black is just pissed. I am pretty sure that is where I heard the word cankles for the first time...The fact that we are obsessing about it is just hysterical...Golds Gym shame on you...Preying on the cankle victims of the world...Agree alysha muffin top month would be helpfull.

Posted by: Teresa at July 2, 2009 4:53 PM

When will they have "People who stare at themselves endlessly in the gym mirrors" awareness month. Now that's one I could get behind

Posted by: Jeff at July 2, 2009 5:45 PM

I dun like me love handles and mah slight gut.

Posted by: Ksmith at July 2, 2009 8:21 PM

To Phil,
Sorry people with Cankles weren't allowed in the schools I attended.

I have seen some great ankles on women of size so I doubt Golds can help. Don't blame this on over eating .

Maybe we should start a walk-a-thon and raise money to stamp out Cankles once and for all.

Posted by: spider at July 2, 2009 8:43 PM

As a master Cankologist, I do agree that this is an epidemic and needs fixed now. Its bad when your knee hurts and you are icing your ankle. Please woman, do something.

Posted by: AP at July 2, 2009 11:26 PM

For real? Oppinions are like As*holes, everyone has one. Can't we find anything to worry about? As a Dr, I can tell you that most of the time this is genetic. Cankles can be sculpted within a reasonable amount for some and for others... well it's just too bad.There are many things to consider... height, weight, age, bone structure, medical conditions (especially auto-immune), medications and mostly GENETICS!!!Get a life peopke and worry about yourself and your own faults. Only God can judge.No-one is perfect.

Posted by: dollie at July 2, 2009 11:55 PM

For real? Oppinions are like As*holes, everyone has one. Can't we find anything to worry about? As a Dr, I can tell you that most of the time this is genetic. Cankles can be sculpted within a reasonable amount for some and for others... well it's just too bad.There are many things to consider... height, weight, age, bone structure, medical conditions (especially auto-immune), medications and mostly GENETICS!!!Get a life peopke and worry about yourself and your own faults. Only God can judge.No-one is perfect.

Posted by: dollie at July 2, 2009 11:55 PM

I work in one of those popular stores that everyone shops at... one that offers electronic carts to people that have trouble walking and I have got to point out that I think Golds might actually be referring to those people and their cankles. Not people that just have huge ankles that look swollen (ei: me when I was pregnant and retaining water) but people with actual folds of fat that hang over their shoes... if they can fit into shoes. Or like the lady that lives down the street from me that sits on her porch all day and drinks out of a 2 Liter of Diet Pepsi. It may be diet, but it sure doesn't help that she is SITTING THERE ALL DAY and drinking 2 LITERS. I dunno. Maybe I'm just confused.

Posted by: W. Mart Worker at July 4, 2009 12:54 PM

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